Thank you to our sponsors who keep this newsletter free to the reader:
Learn how to become an Executive Function Coach by downloading our comprehensive framework to start your coaching business. Learn more.
You wrap up a session feeling great—the student nodded along, agreed to every strategy, and seemed completely on board.
But then… nothing.
They don’t complete their assignments, they don’t follow through on their action steps, and a few weeks later, they drop coaching altogether.
This pattern is frustrating and confusing.
The student seemed engaged, so what went wrong?
In this article, we’ll break down why some students mask their struggles with compliance and how you, as a coach, can break through that barrier and build a strong relationship.
Let's break it down 👇
Why Do Students Agree During Sessions, But Don't Follow Through?
When students agree to everything but never follow through, there are almost always deeper issues like:
Lack of self-awareness
Fear of failure
Avoidance behaviors
Students who have these tendencies often:
Struggle to communicate their needs
Say what adults want to hear to avoid confrontation
Feel overwhelmed but don’t know how to express it
Lack authentic engagement with their own progress
If this masking behavior goes unchecked, students carry these habits into adulthood, struggling with accountability, relationships, and self-advocacy.
Your job as a coach is to help them connect with their real needs and take action.
Mistakes Parents and Coaches Make With Students who Agree, But Don't Follow Through
Mistake 1: Parents Reinforce the Behavior
Parents often unknowingly enable the masking.
A student avoids schoolwork, the parent notices and suggests working with a coach, the student says “okay” to avoid conflict—but they never actually engage.
Everyone thinks progress is happening, but nothing is changing.
Mistake 2: Parents Take the Student’s Word at Face Value
The student insists, “I’ve got it under control".
The parent trusts them—until grades drop, deadlines pass, and suddenly, it’s a crisis.
Without real accountability, the student’s words mean nothing.
Mistake 3: Coaches and Parents Ignore Their Instincts
Something feels off, but the student keeps insisting everything is fine.
So the coach or parent backs off—only to watch the student continue to flounder.
Trusting verbal reassurance over concrete evidence leads to false progress and frustration.
Mistake 4: Allowing Splintering Between Parents, Teachers, and Coaches
Students who mask their struggles often tell different versions of reality to different people.
They tell parents one thing, teachers another, and their coach something else entirely.
This splintering creates confusion, making it impossible to get a full picture of what’s actually happening.
Without consistent communication between all parties, students can manipulate the situation to avoid accountability.
How To Work With Students Who Agree, But Don't Follow Through
Tip 1: Establish a Common Point of Truth
One point of truth could be the Google Classroom portal to check missing assignments and upcoming due dates.
If the student doesn't share the portal with the coach, or the parents don't log in to look at it, then the only point of truth you have is the student's word.
Students can’t fake missing assignments.
If a student says they’re caught up, but their portal says otherwise, that’s your proof.
Download a copy of my Student Dashboard template to establish a common point of truth that students, parents, and educators can share.
Tip 2: Share That Truth With Everyone Involved
Coaching works best when everyone has the same information.
If a parent or teacher doesn’t know what’s actually happening, they can’t support the student.
Regular check-ins prevent misinformation and assumptions.
This can be formalized through the Family Team Meeting process. I've trained hundreds of coaches in the Executive Function Coaching Academy on how to run this process.
Check out my ultimate guide to executive function coaching for more on executive function coaching.
Tip 3: Push for Authenticity
Instead of asking, “How are things going?” (which invites a default “Good”), try:
“I see you have five missing assignments. What’s the plan to tackle them?”
“You mentioned your teacher is tough—what’s happening there?”
“Let’s email your teacher together right now to clarify.”
Direct questioning forces engagement and helps students realize avoidance won’t work.
Tip 5: Implement Family Team Meetings
When students tell different people different stories, progress falls apart.
Regular family meetings ensure alignment, accountability, and consistency between parents, students, and coaches.
Tip 6: Build Collective Advocacy
Encourage parents, teachers, and students to work together, not separately.
Monthly check-ins prevent issues from slipping through the cracks and keep everyone honest about progress.
You can learn building executive function skills with students through my semester success blueprint course for parents and educators or take my full certification course on how to become an executive function coach.
The Bottom Line
To get real results with students who mask their struggles:
Use school portals as a single source of truth.
Share that information with parents, coaches, and teachers.
Ask direct questions to uncover real struggles.
Hold family team meetings to prevent miscommunication.
Build collective advocacy to keep everyone accountable.
When students feel safe enough to be honest, that’s when real coaching kicks in.
Hope this helps 🤙🏻
Want support in working with students who don't follow through?
Consider joining hundreds of educators and professionals who have completed our executive function coaching certification.
You'll gain all the tools, templates, and techniques you'll need as a coach, plus you'll make new friends and have a community you can rely on to grow and learn. Learn more.
Here is one of our favorite reviews. You can read all recent reviews on this page.
If you're not sure now, that's ok. You can subscribe and get our weekly newsletter at no cost by entering your email below 👇
About Me
Hey! I'm Sean 👋
I'm a former public school special education teacher who realized that executive function skills are more important than knowing when George Washington crossed the Potomac.
Since then, I've made it my mission to teach anyone who will listen about how to develop these key life skills.
In 2020, I founded Executive Function Specialists to ensure all students with ADHD and Autism have access to high-quality online executive function coaching services. We offer online EF coaching and courses to help students and families.
Realizing I could only reach so many people through coaching, in 2021 I started the Executive Function Coaching Academy which trains schools, educators, and individuals to learn the key strategies to improve executive function skills for students.
In 2023, I co-founded of UpSkill Specialists, to provide neurodivergent adults with high-quality executive function coaching services.
When not pursuing my passions through work, I love spending time with my family, getting exercise, and expanding my brain through reading. You can connect with me on LinkedIn.