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In this article I will teach you my five keys to building strong relationships with new executive function coaching clients.
This is critical to the success of your EF coaching practice because if students feel overwhelmed or disengaged with your approach, they will pull away and tell their parents they do not wish to continue working with you.
You can avoid this mistake by focusing on small wins that build client confidence and cause them to share with their parents that they would like to continue working with you.
What mistakes do new executive function coaches make?
One of the biggest mistakes new coaches make is trying to do too much in their sessions.
The reason for this is the dreaded impostor syndrome which causes new EF coaches to feel like they need to:
Amaze their clients by showing off their deep knowledge of executive function skills
Do more than expected in sessions in hopes their clients walk away with lots of value
Push their clients to do more and more hoping that parents will be satisfied with their investment in coaching.
Here are a few other common mistakes I see new executive function coaches make, which cause them to lose clients and have to work harder on marketing to win clients back or find new clients:
Overloading the Student
Many novice coaches try to tackle significant concepts like metacognition or working memory right away. This can overwhelm the student and make them reluctant to continue. Instead, start with smaller, more manageable tasks.
Trying to Be the "Everything Coach"
Some coaches attempt to be life coaches, therapists, and academic specialists all in one. This can dilute your effectiveness. Focus on helping students manage their schoolwork effectively, and let other specialists handle the rest.
Lack of Practical Focus
Parents typically seek executive function coaches for practical solutions to school-specific challenges, not deep analytical evaluations. Ensure your sessions are focused on actionable tasks that address these immediate needs.
This article will help you understand why focusing on smaller, manageable tasks can lead to more effective coaching and happier clients.
You'll learn actionable strategies to enhance your coaching skills and support your clients more effectively.
Ready to keep learning?
Why focus on small wins?
When you first start working with a student, it's crucial to build a connection and achieve small wins.
Attempting to teach big skills or concepts can overwhelm the student and turn them off. For example, many novice coaches say to me:
I don't want to help them with missing assignments -- that is too basic.
I want to teach them metacognition and emotional regulation -- the stuff that matters in life.
While there is value in those skills, the problem with jumping straight into those high-level EF skills is that it is like trying to teach a child to read by handing them a copy of "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy -- it would overwhelm them and ignore the pressing problem that needs solving.
Instead, focus on smaller tasks that are immediately useful, such as helping the student learn how to:
Check their portals
Identify missing assignments
and communicate with their teachers.
This approach not only makes the student feel more comfortable but also sets the stage for long-term success.
What are the benefits to focus on small wins?
There are many reasons to focus on small wins, rather than tackling the big, theoretical aspects of executive functioning. Here are a few:
Increased Student Engagement
Students are more likely to stay engaged when they see immediate, tangible results.
Positive Feedback from Parents
Parents appreciate practical solutions to their children's school-related challenges.
Long-term Skill Development
Focusing on small tasks helps students develop essential skills that they can transfer to other areas of their lives.
What are the 5 keys to building strong relationships with students?
1. Build a Connection
Start by getting to know your student. Learn about their interests and ensure they feel comfortable sharing their screen if you're working online. This initial connection is crucial for long-term success.
Here are a few question I ask in the first session to get to know them better:
"What is the cheat code to being a great coach for you?"
"Your parents shared with me that you interested in _____. Will you tell me more about that?"
"What would you do in this session for it to feel like an amazing use of your time?"
2. Focus on Practical Tasks
Help the student learn how to check Google Classroom, Canva, or Schoology to identify missing assignments.
Confirm that they can respond to a text message and communicate with their teachers.
These small tasks are essential for building a foundation of success and are what I call a "trial-yes" to ensure they will buy in to bigger asks down the road.
If they won't share their screen with you, there is no way there are going to want to learn about cognitive inhibition from you.
3. Involve Parents
Parents play a pivotal role in the process. Incorporate a family team meeting process and engage parents by writing a session note after each session. This keeps them informed and involved without being overbearing.
It also allows you to monitor progress and collect feedback so you don't get dropped as a coach, unexpectedly.
Check out this article for more tips on how to run a Family Team Meeting.
4. Measure Progress
Track the number of missing assignments and have the student self-report the impact of the coaching process. Use feedback from family team meetings to gauge progress and make necessary adjustments.
Here is a detailed guide on how to assess executive function skills with free tools you can download or try out.
5. Make A Habit of Small Improvements
Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or challenged in my coaching practice (and life) I try to identify the fundamental problem that is below the surface.
For example, I was recently struggling with not being able to make time to go to the gym during the workday and maintain my health. Instead of formulating the question, "How do I make more time to go to the gym during the work day?" which is hyper-specific, I searched for:
How do I free up more time in my schedule?
This search had a host of high-quality videos which helped me develop an new system of writing out my ideal schedule, then working toward it.
In the same way, I encourage you to identify the struggles in your coaching practice, then make a habit out of developing new skills to address those areas of need or weakness.
You will be amazed at the changes you can make when you start to get specific, deliberate, and intentional around your areas of growth.
Watch free YouTube videos and read recommended books like "Smart But Scattered" by Peg Dawson and "The Coaching Habit."
Conclusion
The key to successful executive function coaching is to start small and build from there. If you are ready to try this out in your practice, here are 5 steps you can take to work on these skills today.
1. Focus on getting to know your students, rather than getting a lot of work done.
2. Teach your students how to check portals and communicate with teachers.
3. Proactively seek feedback from parents using FTMs and notes.
4. Track clear goals like missing assignments to show concrete progress.
5. Make a habit of working on small tweaks to your coaching practice.
Hope this helps 🤙🏻
P.S. These are skills that executive function coaches work on with their students. If you want to try working on them with your students, consider joining hundreds of other educators and parents who have completed my Semester Success Blueprint Course. In less than 2 hours, this comprehensive course will teach you and your student the system I developed to help hundreds of students learn how to manage school effectively and raise their self-awareness and engagement with school.
About Me
Hey! I'm Sean 👋
I'm a former public school special education teacher who realized that executive function skills are more important than knowing when George Washington crossed the Potomac.
Since then, I've made it my mission to teach anyone who will listen about how to develop these key life skills.
In 2020, I founded Executive Function Specialists to ensure all students with ADHD and Autism have access to high-quality online executive function coaching services. We offer online EF coaching and courses to help students and families.
Realizing I could only reach so many people through coaching, in 2021 I started the Executive Function Coaching Academy which trains schools, educators, and individuals to learn the key strategies to improve executive function skills for students.
In 2023, I co-founded of UpSkill Specialists, to provide neurodivergent adults with high-quality executive function coaching services.
When not pursuing my passions through work, I love spending time with my family, getting exercise, and expanding my brain through reading. You can connect with me on LinkedIn.